UPDATE: 18 days until graduation! I think I'm freaking the freak out. Every time I settle into an idea of what next year will look like, something changes. I mean, I know this is a time of incredible changes and whatnot, but really? Necessary? I think not.
First, let's recap. My birthday was a week ago and it was amazing. I was surrounded by people I love and had a wonderful day. I am so thankful to have gotten many wonderful gifts for my apartment and little Cheesecake. I also got tickets to see Ingrid Michaelson for the fourth time and I can't wait! I went out for drinks with some great friends to close out the night and danced to Taylor Swift like my life depended on it!
Now looking forward: People keep asking me what my plans are for next year. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea yet. I thought for sure that I would be heading up to Orono for grad school... until today. Remember that job that I had applied for at Beloit College in Wisconsin? Well, this morning I woke up to a phone call asking if I would like to come to campus for a third interview. Luckily (and thankfully) Beloit will pay all of my travel expenses. I'll be flying out of Portland in the morning on May 13th and landing in Charlotte, North Carolina, changing planes and flying into Chicago, Illinois. From there, I'll take a shuttle to Beloit. My interview will be from early in the morning on the 14th until mid-afternoon. Then I'll hop back on a plane and be back in Maine very late that night. I am so incredibly excited to have this amazing opportunity and can't wait to see what happens next.
I should mention that this whirlwind trip will take place during finals week. And between now and then I have to accomplish quite a lengthy list of assignments, pack up everything I own, continue working, and attempting to still have fun for the last three weeks of my undergrad. Holy cow.
Can I do all of this and remain sane? Only time will tell. Wish me luck!
Cheers,
-S.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Monday, April 13, 2015
Birthday Wishlist
For those of you who may be interested in sending birthday wishes (or gifts) my way, below is my address and a special birthday wishlist. For those of you who don't know, on April 20th, I'll be turning 22! I'm also graduating in May and will need things for real adult living in an apartment. Here's my current address if you wish to send me a card or whatever.
Shane Cushing
Frances Allen Black Hall, Room 506A.
111 South Street,
Farmington, ME. 04938.
Wishlist:
Cold hard cash.
Orgreenic cookware set.
Kitchen utensils (ladle, spatula, pizza cutter, etc.)
Tickets to see Ingrid Michaelson in Portland on 6/28.
Cat condo (for Cheesecake)
Cat toys
Anything else that a young adult going out on his own may need.
Anything helps and anything is appreciated, including well-wishes and smiles. Thanks in advance! I may or may not be having a party at some point... check back for updates!
Cheers,
-S.
Shane Cushing
Frances Allen Black Hall, Room 506A.
111 South Street,
Farmington, ME. 04938.
Wishlist:
Cold hard cash.
Orgreenic cookware set.
Kitchen utensils (ladle, spatula, pizza cutter, etc.)
Tickets to see Ingrid Michaelson in Portland on 6/28.
Cat condo (for Cheesecake)
Cat toys
Anything else that a young adult going out on his own may need.
Anything helps and anything is appreciated, including well-wishes and smiles. Thanks in advance! I may or may not be having a party at some point... check back for updates!
Cheers,
-S.
Health Fix
It's sunny, 70°, slightly breezy, and unbelievably gorgeous. Hello, Spring! As wonderful as it is that it's getting warmer, this body is still in Winter mode. I'm layered in blubber to help keep me warm through the cruel Farmington Winter. As the snow melts, it's time to melt away my extra body fat. Today was day one. I woke up bright and early (aka 10am which is early for me) and went to the gym. I know, right? It wasn't as bad as I thought. Now, let's see if I can keep this up. Luckily I have two of my best friends keeping me motivated and going with me. Thanks, Hannah and Madeline! <3
Anyway, I'm looking for some new workout routines / diets if anyone has anything to recommend!
I'm trying this whole healthy eating thing, too... so if anyone knows of any yummy recipes that are pretty easy and quick to make, send them my way!
I'll keep you all updated on my suffering.
Cheers,
-S.
Anyway, I'm looking for some new workout routines / diets if anyone has anything to recommend!
I'm trying this whole healthy eating thing, too... so if anyone knows of any yummy recipes that are pretty easy and quick to make, send them my way!
I'll keep you all updated on my suffering.
Cheers,
-S.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
100 Things...
Today I attended a conference on end of life care at Franklin Memorial Hospital. This semester, I'm taking an independent study on palliative care and how to work with people who are at the end of their lives. While this is an incredibly sad topic, it is one that I find to be very important. Have you told your loved ones whether or not you wish to be kept alive on a ventilator if you ever get to that point? Have you told your family whether or not you would like extraordinary measures taken to save your life in the event of an accident or disease? Have you told them what you would like done with your body when you die? Well, maybe you should. Sure you may not be experiencing a life-threatening disease currently, but what if...?
When one family member becomes unable to make their own medical decisions and other family members step up to make those decisions without knowing exactly what the person would have wanted can cause a great deal of unrest in the family. We don't want that, at least I certainly don't, at the end of my life. For that reason, I have an Advanced Directive that has a DNR / No Extraordinary Measures form, my views on being kept alive by a ventilator, the insertion of a feeding tube, etc. It also has information about what I would like to be done with my body when I die. For those of you who may be wondering, I wish to be cremated placed into a bio-urn that will use my ashes to fertilize the growth of a tree, then planted in a quiet place by the water.
Now, I'm hoping that my death will not come anytime soon, but when it does, I know that I can go peacefully, knowing that my wishes will be respected. I would like to be able to decide when I die. For example, say that in some 60-odd years I develop a horrific form of cancer and I am diagnosed with six months to a year to live, if my doctor thinks that there is any chance that he or she may be able to prolong my life in a way that allows me to be happy and comfortable, I will do it. However, if this treatment fails, I would like to be able to choose when the treatment stops and I begin my journey into whatever comes next.
I know this may seem quite morbid to most of you and maybe far too painful to read and conceptualize, but it's an important topic to discuss. The biggest takeaway is this: everyone is different and everyone may have different wishes, but it is on us, the able bodied care takers to do whatever is possible to ease the pain and follow through with the patients wishes. When it comes down to it, we all know when it is time to go. We all know when we've had enough. One of the biggest things that jumped out at me today at the conference was a section in a movie we watched called, "Consider the Conversation." I have posted the quote by Dr. Martin Welsh below:
“Imagine a list of 100 things you do most days. Some are routines, some are chores, and some are pleasurable. Get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. Kiss your wife. Answer the phone. Drive your car to work. Go play golf with your friends. Brush your teeth. Write a letter, lick and seal the envelope, and put a stamp on it. Hug your child.
Of course, we do many more than 100 things a day, but for now, just imagine 100 things that are essential to the life you live. Now if you take away 1, you can still do 99. Is life worth living without being able to smell the roses in the garden? Of course it is. How about losing 2, or 7, or 23? Is life still worth living? Of course! But suppose you get to where you've lost, say, 90 things... and now with each one taken away, a bad one is added. You can no longer walk well, and you start falling, and it hurts. Your grip is gone, and you also suffer the ignominy of wetting your pants, because your bladder spasms. You can’t turn over in bed, and that also means you’ll get bedsores, unless someone turns you frequently. Life is still worth living, but you’re getting tired.
At some point, no matter who you are—or how strong, you can lose enough things that matter, and acquire enough negatives, that the burdens will outweigh the joys of being alive. This is the stage when, as a doctor, I would reassure my patients and their families that they had fought the good fight, and it was now okay to accept moving to the next phase."
Just think about that for a minute. Wouldn't it be nice to decide when to move on to the next phase? Sharing your wishes and hopes with your close loved ones is certainly a start. Pick someone you love and tell them what you want when you are coming to the end of your life. It will help you, certainly, but it will help them as well.
When one family member becomes unable to make their own medical decisions and other family members step up to make those decisions without knowing exactly what the person would have wanted can cause a great deal of unrest in the family. We don't want that, at least I certainly don't, at the end of my life. For that reason, I have an Advanced Directive that has a DNR / No Extraordinary Measures form, my views on being kept alive by a ventilator, the insertion of a feeding tube, etc. It also has information about what I would like to be done with my body when I die. For those of you who may be wondering, I wish to be cremated placed into a bio-urn that will use my ashes to fertilize the growth of a tree, then planted in a quiet place by the water.
Now, I'm hoping that my death will not come anytime soon, but when it does, I know that I can go peacefully, knowing that my wishes will be respected. I would like to be able to decide when I die. For example, say that in some 60-odd years I develop a horrific form of cancer and I am diagnosed with six months to a year to live, if my doctor thinks that there is any chance that he or she may be able to prolong my life in a way that allows me to be happy and comfortable, I will do it. However, if this treatment fails, I would like to be able to choose when the treatment stops and I begin my journey into whatever comes next.
I know this may seem quite morbid to most of you and maybe far too painful to read and conceptualize, but it's an important topic to discuss. The biggest takeaway is this: everyone is different and everyone may have different wishes, but it is on us, the able bodied care takers to do whatever is possible to ease the pain and follow through with the patients wishes. When it comes down to it, we all know when it is time to go. We all know when we've had enough. One of the biggest things that jumped out at me today at the conference was a section in a movie we watched called, "Consider the Conversation." I have posted the quote by Dr. Martin Welsh below:
“Imagine a list of 100 things you do most days. Some are routines, some are chores, and some are pleasurable. Get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. Kiss your wife. Answer the phone. Drive your car to work. Go play golf with your friends. Brush your teeth. Write a letter, lick and seal the envelope, and put a stamp on it. Hug your child.
Of course, we do many more than 100 things a day, but for now, just imagine 100 things that are essential to the life you live. Now if you take away 1, you can still do 99. Is life worth living without being able to smell the roses in the garden? Of course it is. How about losing 2, or 7, or 23? Is life still worth living? Of course! But suppose you get to where you've lost, say, 90 things... and now with each one taken away, a bad one is added. You can no longer walk well, and you start falling, and it hurts. Your grip is gone, and you also suffer the ignominy of wetting your pants, because your bladder spasms. You can’t turn over in bed, and that also means you’ll get bedsores, unless someone turns you frequently. Life is still worth living, but you’re getting tired.
At some point, no matter who you are—or how strong, you can lose enough things that matter, and acquire enough negatives, that the burdens will outweigh the joys of being alive. This is the stage when, as a doctor, I would reassure my patients and their families that they had fought the good fight, and it was now okay to accept moving to the next phase."
Just think about that for a minute. Wouldn't it be nice to decide when to move on to the next phase? Sharing your wishes and hopes with your close loved ones is certainly a start. Pick someone you love and tell them what you want when you are coming to the end of your life. It will help you, certainly, but it will help them as well.
Monday, April 6, 2015
Spring Cleaning and Snow Showers
As I sit here sorting through all of the junk that I have accumulated through the years, I reflect on my experiences in life. I know that sounds incredibly cheesy and cliché, but anyone that knows me knows that that's all part of who I am. Maybe I'm just exceptionally sentimental because I know that the life I have known for the past four years... even the life I have known for the past twenty-two years is all going to change in six short weeks. Or maybe I'm just emotional because it's supposed to be springtime but it's snowing... either way, I'll share some gems that I've found so far.
1. Numerous awards - Now, these may just be pieces of paper and have no real meaning attached, it's so hard to throw them out. I have certificates from my time at SMCC and an award for Program of the Month for my classic, "BJs in your PJs" program - don't ask! I found my Cohesive Co-Ship Award that my dear friend Karla and I won at the end of last year. These are all things of the past, but of course I'll hang onto them - I couldn't possibly throw them out, although I probably should!
2. FAB placement letter - This was a HUGE moment for me, getting placed in FAB. I worked my butt off to get here and I think that living and working in such a difficult building has helped shape who I am personally and professionally.
3. Playbills - American Idiot and Lion King, to be exact. In my position as a Weekend Adventures and Excursions Leader, I have had the opportunity to travel to places I never thought I could go, done things I never thought possible, and made memories that are sure to last a lifetime.
4. This poem:
"Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are.
They're just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts.
And honestly, they can barely contain us.
We strain at their seams with every breath we take.
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending.
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It's what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts,
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts,
Even if we tried.
That's the important part.
Don't worry about the bodies,
They've got this."
-Gabe Moses, "How to Make Love to A Trans Person"
That's all I'll share for now... this cleaning and sorting process is sure to span for several weeks (I feel like I'm cleaning a hoarders house, only it's my own very small apartment.) I may soon be posting things that are up for grabs, so keep an eye out for some (possibly) useless junk! Woohoo!
Cheers,
-S
1. Numerous awards - Now, these may just be pieces of paper and have no real meaning attached, it's so hard to throw them out. I have certificates from my time at SMCC and an award for Program of the Month for my classic, "BJs in your PJs" program - don't ask! I found my Cohesive Co-Ship Award that my dear friend Karla and I won at the end of last year. These are all things of the past, but of course I'll hang onto them - I couldn't possibly throw them out, although I probably should!
2. FAB placement letter - This was a HUGE moment for me, getting placed in FAB. I worked my butt off to get here and I think that living and working in such a difficult building has helped shape who I am personally and professionally.
3. Playbills - American Idiot and Lion King, to be exact. In my position as a Weekend Adventures and Excursions Leader, I have had the opportunity to travel to places I never thought I could go, done things I never thought possible, and made memories that are sure to last a lifetime.
4. This poem:
"Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are.
They're just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts.
And honestly, they can barely contain us.
We strain at their seams with every breath we take.
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending.
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It's what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts,
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts,
Even if we tried.
That's the important part.
Don't worry about the bodies,
They've got this."
-Gabe Moses, "How to Make Love to A Trans Person"
That's all I'll share for now... this cleaning and sorting process is sure to span for several weeks (I feel like I'm cleaning a hoarders house, only it's my own very small apartment.) I may soon be posting things that are up for grabs, so keep an eye out for some (possibly) useless junk! Woohoo!
Cheers,
-S
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Falling Into Place...
Well, here we are. There are only six short weeks until I graduate. It doesn't seem possible that these four years have flown by as quickly as they have. In these final weeks, I find myself in a constant state of flux. The ups and downs come at a rate comparable to riding a speeding roller coaster. For the whole first part of the year it was as if this roller coaster would never stop but now I can see the end... and I couldn't be more excited. Excited not only to get off this ride, ending the mayhem of my undergraduate career, but excited to get on whatever ride may come next. Speaking of which, what even are my options?
Option #1. Graduate School: I have officially been accepted at the University of Maine in Orono to the M.Ed. program in Student Development in Higher Education. Along with this, I have been offered (and tentatively accepted) a graduate assistantship in the Counseling Center as the Outreach Assistant. Luckily, this position would cover nearly the entire cost of my graduate degree and provides a stipend above and beyond that. If I take this route, this means in August, I'll be moving to Orono and will need to find a roommate or two to share the cost.
Option #2. Workforce: I have applied to several positions in Higher Education. My thought behind this was to establish myself, make some money, and get on my feet as an adult and a college graduate before going to get a higher degree. A few weeks ago, I had two phone interviews. One at Hiram College in Hiram, Ohio and one at Beloit College in Beloit, Wisconsin. Just this past week, I had a second phone interview with Beloit and am now playing the waiting game. The next step would most likely be an on-campus interview if I'm lucky enough to be chosen. Time will tell.
As of today, I have secured a plan for this summer which is something that I have been freaking out about for some time now. I will be staying in Farmington over the summer, subleasing my friend Linsey's studio apartment. I'll be returning to Day's Store in Belgrade hopefully working 40 hours a week and making lots of money. $$$! I will also be getting a little tiny kitten! Hopefully a male, but possibly a little lady cat. Whichever gender it is, I shall call it... CHEESECAKE! <3 I'm so excited to finally be able to have my own little kitten companion. (Well, it won't totally be mine, I'm sharing with my amazing girlfriend, Madeline!)
So, why am I writing this blog, you may ask? Well, it's so that all of those people who I can't necessarily communicate with all the time but would like to stay informed about the happenings in my busy whirlwind of a life, can read up on my silly little life. Also, with all this stress, it's good to get it all out one way or another and the internet is certainly much less expensive than therapy.
Check back often and feel free to follow my blog. I'll be posting pretty frequently, most likely.
Cheers!
-S
Option #1. Graduate School: I have officially been accepted at the University of Maine in Orono to the M.Ed. program in Student Development in Higher Education. Along with this, I have been offered (and tentatively accepted) a graduate assistantship in the Counseling Center as the Outreach Assistant. Luckily, this position would cover nearly the entire cost of my graduate degree and provides a stipend above and beyond that. If I take this route, this means in August, I'll be moving to Orono and will need to find a roommate or two to share the cost.
Option #2. Workforce: I have applied to several positions in Higher Education. My thought behind this was to establish myself, make some money, and get on my feet as an adult and a college graduate before going to get a higher degree. A few weeks ago, I had two phone interviews. One at Hiram College in Hiram, Ohio and one at Beloit College in Beloit, Wisconsin. Just this past week, I had a second phone interview with Beloit and am now playing the waiting game. The next step would most likely be an on-campus interview if I'm lucky enough to be chosen. Time will tell.
As of today, I have secured a plan for this summer which is something that I have been freaking out about for some time now. I will be staying in Farmington over the summer, subleasing my friend Linsey's studio apartment. I'll be returning to Day's Store in Belgrade hopefully working 40 hours a week and making lots of money. $$$! I will also be getting a little tiny kitten! Hopefully a male, but possibly a little lady cat. Whichever gender it is, I shall call it... CHEESECAKE! <3 I'm so excited to finally be able to have my own little kitten companion. (Well, it won't totally be mine, I'm sharing with my amazing girlfriend, Madeline!)
So, why am I writing this blog, you may ask? Well, it's so that all of those people who I can't necessarily communicate with all the time but would like to stay informed about the happenings in my busy whirlwind of a life, can read up on my silly little life. Also, with all this stress, it's good to get it all out one way or another and the internet is certainly much less expensive than therapy.
Check back often and feel free to follow my blog. I'll be posting pretty frequently, most likely.
Cheers!
-S
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